just let it come by itself

another story.short story.just for fun.part 2.

" shit! i'm so damn late.!", i mumbled to myself. "mom, can you please send me to college? i'm so late, and i'm so gonna be a dead-meat.mom!" i begged my mom.

" gosh! alex! don't you know that i'm in a middle of a meeting-conversation? oh, i'm sorry, mr.park. that was my daughter.~continue with the video-conversation~",my mom replied.
"urgh! i hate you mom! fine! i'll drive myself.! see you later. if you do care!" i yelled angrily.

....................

so i drove myself to college.i used my mom's beemer[bmw]. does she even care?. i guessed no!.

does she even care about me? guessed, never!.what did she care most?.her job! her life!.mine?
never i guessed!

i went to class mumbling.talking bad bout my mom with my bestfriend, sam.

" you shouldn't talk like that, lexie. she's your mom. i know, deep down inside, she loves and cares bout you", sam said.

i knew about it.i knew she do care and love me..but i just want her to know, sometimes, i want her attention.

" sammie, i know about that. i know.always and forever.but sometimes, she cares more about aaron! he's older than me! he knew how to handle his own life! he's 21..and i'm only 19! sshhhiitt!".

.......................

i guessed no one understand me. my own brother, aaron. he's nothing!he's useless! argh!

everytime i wanted to hang out with my friends and used the car, he's the one who always get the car first! and guessed what, he has his own car.! what about my car? my mom won't give me my own car. my license is like nothing.

............................

so, i try to search for something new. i went to a friend's party. i knew i drank a lot. and i got drunk.and so, i drove my brother's car. his own bmw z4. i was speeding on the road. with sammie.

i think i was just having fun.out of sudden..

bbbbaaaaaaammmmmmmm!!!!!!!!!!!!

..........................

"lexie..please..please..don't leave us.lexie!"

.........................

i woke up in dizziness.i reached for a glass of water.then it fell.my mom helped me.with aaron by my other side.
" mom, where's sammie? is she ok?".

suddenly..my mom burst into tears. aaron tried to comfort her.

i was totally in shocked.why on earth did she cry? mom! 

she went out.trying to calm herself i guessed.

........................

" lexie. i hope you won't be......"

" what aaron? what's happening now! tell me..just tell me..i need to know.!aaron, i'm begging you..please"

" samantha is dead. she's dead".

" please aaron. i'm tired with your lame jokes."

'i'm not joking, for god sake, ALEXANDRIA PARKER! i'm not joking! she's dead!"

it was my turn to cry and burst into tears.

........................

the fact that i've killed my own bestfriend was the worst moment in my life.

knowing that your own dad left just for no reason when you were small, also causes yourself to hurt more.

gosh! what have i done.! there's nothing i can do to change the past.

......................

one day. i found a wishing well. i wish that i could turn back time and change everything.

i wish that i knew better about everyone. i wish that..........

..suddenly..

" lexie! what are you doing here?" sam asked.

" sammie? i thought u are dead..!" i replied, happily with a smile.

" lexie? are you insane..i'm always by your side! did you have a nightmare or did you do something weird? haha you silly little girl! " she replied back.

" alex.! let's eat. ask sammie to join us too", my mom called out of sudden. and my brother followed.

.................................

i just don't know or realized what's wrong or what's going on.
i just don't know. what's wrong with them? or what's wrong with me.

i'm in total dizziness

someone help me please.

for months.for years.they keep acting the same.they've treated me well.

for reasons i don't understand.

...............................

then, I've just realized. there's no photos of me in this house.my own house.

where are they?? i went to sammie's house. she was crying. for no reasons.

i went to her.trying to console her.but suddenly. i just can't.

my hands were barely can touch her..why??

i saw her family were wearing black clothes.

so, i went back to my home.

and the same condition was happening in my own home.

my brother and mom were crying in the living room.

and i tried the same thing.to console them.again, nothing.

i can barely touch them. i tried to scream.but no response.

nothing.

...........................

they mourned for ages. they cried for ages. they searched for ages.

they did their best.they gave their whole life for me.they sacrificed for my best.

and they did. they succeed. and i'm proud.thanks.

........................

guessed, my wishes at the well did come true.

it was me who left them.it was me who was killed during the crash. it was ME.

i get the chance to turn back time. but it wasn't the real me.

it was only my "ghost". i was leaving in the house as a "ghost" to my own family and bestfriend.

they wore black clothes on 29th December every year because it was the date that i was killed.

and now, i do understand, why there's no more picture of me in my own house.

cause all the memories built were too meaningful to them.they just don't want to be sad or mourned anymore about me.i guessed i was the best memory they had ever had.guess i misjudged about my own mom and brother.they worked hard to give the best for me.but i just don't understand.and so does sammie.she tried her best to make me understand.

.......................

now, i do understand that.sometimes, my family cares about me.

mom, aaron, sammie.i'll always be by yourside.remember me always.